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But personal moments of rejection are not the driving force behind my resentful feelings about black male-white female relationships now.
The driving force is, instead, my awareness of all of the (straight) African American women -- beautiful, smart, good women, some of them my own family and friends -- who might not have a honey to bring home this Thanksgiving holiday because they cannot find a date, even as rising numbers of eligible African American men will be wooing white women. Individuals would choose each other for kindness, intelligence, perseverance, courage, and a host of other mysterious reasons that make attraction so magical.
But this collection of happily ever after stories does not mean that love is blind.
Romantic attraction is subject to the larger social forces of racial prestige and stigma that swirl all around us, and in this environment, black women are losing out.
This is the way things would be if our love lives actually mirrored recent scientific findings, which tell us the human family is so genetically close that we share more than 99 percent of our DNA.She was probably very nice; but I cannot say for sure.She was shy and didn't talk much in what was likely an unfamiliar and perhaps overwhelming African American social setting.This is due in part to the unsettling evidence that many groups of men do not prefer black women.According to data released by the online dating site Ok Cupid, black women (perhaps due to politeness; perhaps due to the recognition of their less desirable status) respond to more initial overtures than other groups; at the same time, black women's initial contacts are ignored most often.
One of my male relatives brought home a date for Thanksgiving who could have been Barbie's twin sister.